In this ongoing series, we have been exploring 12 practical steps to knowing God’s will in choosing a life partner. Over the past two sessions, we covered steps 1-9 (which you can revisit using the links below):
Today, we’ll be concluding with steps 10-12:
10. Be Kindhearted
“And she said, ‘We have both straw and feed enough, and room to lodge.’” – Genesis 24:25 (NKJV)
In Genesis 24, Rebekah’s kind heart was evident when she offered to give water to both Eliezer and his camels. This act of kindness positioned her to be chosen as Isaac’s wife.
Why does kindness matter in choosing a life partner?
- A kind heart reveals selflessness, a key ingredient for a successful marriage.
- God tests people through their attitude toward others. Rebekah was being observed, even when she didn’t realize it.
- Kind-hearted people attract the favor of God and men.
As a believer, walking in God’s will requires proving. God looks beyond outward appearance and considers the condition of the heart. When you have a good spirit, the Holy Spirit speaks through you, guiding you to the right decisions.
Kindness is attractive. No one wants to marry someone who is rude, selfish, or insensitive. If you want to find a godly partner, cultivate a kind and compassionate spirit.
11. Be a Giver
“It is more blessed to give than to receive.” – Acts 20:35 (NKJV)
- Stinginess is a relationship killer.
- Humans are naturally self-centered, but to have a successful marriage, you must be intentional about giving.
- Giving in relationships is not just about money; it includes time, attention, care, and emotional support.
Marriage thrives when both partners commit to giving instead of focusing on what they can get.
Why is giving important in choosing a life partner?
- A generous person will go the extra mile for their spouse.
- Giving cultivates sacrifice, which is essential for lasting love.
- The Bible says, “For God so loved the world that He gave…” (John 3:16) – Love always manifests through giving.
Ask yourself: Am I a giver or just a receiver? Deliberately kill stinginess before stepping into marriage.
12. Be About Your Work and Ministry
Genesis 24:63 (NIV) – “He went out to the field one evening to meditate, and as he looked up, he saw camels approaching.”
Before Isaac met Rebekah, he was already a man of work and meditation. He was engaged in his field, busy fulfilling his purpose. This is a powerful principle for singles: Focus on your assignment, and God will send the right person at the right time.
Many people make the mistake of putting their life on hold while waiting for a partner. Instead of waiting passively, invest in yourself:
- Pursue your career or business.
- Serve in your local church or community.
- Develop your skills and personal growth.
A person who is passionate about their purpose is naturally attractive. When you are diligent, you position yourself to meet a partner who is also driven and committed to God’s plan.
The DISC Personality Test & Choosing a Partner
The DISC personality test is a tool that helps people understand their natural tendencies and how they interact with others. Understanding your personality and that of your potential partner can help build a successful relationship.
The four DISC personalities:
- D – Dominance (Choleric): Leaders, result-oriented, strong-willed.
- I – Influence (Sanguine): Social, expressive, fun-loving.
- S – Steadiness (Phlegmatic): Calm, kind, peacemakers.
- C – Conscientiousness (Melancholy): Detail-oriented, deep thinkers, perfectionists.
Now, let’s relate this to what men look for in a woman:
10 Qualities a Man Looks for in a Woman
1. Kindheartedness
Men are naturally drawn to women who are compassionate, warm, and caring. This quality is natural for phlegmatics and sanguines because they are naturally people-oriented. However, a choleric or melancholy woman may need to be intentional about developing kindness since they tend to be more logical and result-driven.
To attract a godly man, practice kindness not just towards people you are interested in but as a lifestyle.
2. Honesty
Proverbs 12:22 (NIV) – “The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy.”
Men value sincerity in a woman. They do not want a woman who plays games, manipulates, or is dishonest. They are drawn to women who are straightforward, transparent, and drama-free.
- D (Choleric) and C (Melancholy) personalities naturally struggle with emotions but tend to be direct and honest.
- I (Sanguine) and S (Phlegmatic) personalities are more expressive but may struggle with being too emotional rather than rational.
A woman who can communicate honestly and clearly without unnecessary drama is highly attractive to men.
Prayers
- Lord, help me develop the right character for a godly marriage.
- Give me the spirit of kindness and generosity.
- Help me to focus on my work and purpose while waiting for the right partner.
- Grant me wisdom in choosing a life partner who aligns with Your will.
- May I be led by the Holy Spirit in all my relationship decisions.
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